I’ve been on the move all day, still don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. The sun is soon to set, & I’m still wandering outside with nowhere else to go, I need help. The void in me is growing more & more….
….and asked if I was the one that called. I was so tensed up. This was the first time I’ve ever called for assistance from the police. I didn’t know how they’d help me in a situation like this. But what I did want was for them to take me somewhere but home.
I told him yes. He asked me what was going in. I told him I was suspended from school & ran away from home. As I was talking to him, a black state trooper joined us. He was more down to earth it seemed, asking me what school I went to, about the situation, why I ran away. After a bit of talking, they both agreed to take me to the police station. I rode with the black officer while the white officer already left as we were still talking a bit. It was also my first time ever being in the backseat of a police vehicle. I didn’t feel like a prisoner at all. Whole ride there he was still talking to me, telling me that running away from my problems is not the way, asking me what really caused all of this which was all over one girl. It blew his mind. He started talking about his daughters & a little bit about his past. He was much like a counselor to me.
When we got to the police station, I respectfully took my hood off my head. Me & the officer went into their meeting room where we sat & talked a bit more. He offered me crackers & soda which I happily took. He further questioned me about the relationship between me & my ex, what led to the break up, & was talking about how I shouldn’t stress over one person. Telling me there’s always more fish out in the sea which is what I was always told. He was like the good cop in this matter.
Now, the white officer periodically came in & asked me questions about where I lived & contact information of my parents. He was basically focused on alerting the parents & getting me out of here. When asked, I gave false numbers. When the numbers weren’t working, they called Child Protective Services I believe, where I had to speak to them about my parents. I exaggerated saying they’d beat me if I returned home & that they often put their hands on me. I even said they’d do it right after the officer leaves from dropping me off putting on an innocent attitude while his presence is present to them. They were on the verge of sending me somewhere as they could not come in contact with my parents given the false information I gave.
However, I slipped when they asked where my mother worked at. By telling them, they looked up the number & called there. And what a coincidence, my mother was there working & answered. The white officer talked to her while the black officer took me back to the meeting room to give his closing speech to me about not running away from my problems. I tried to further exaggerate about them beating me if I go back & he gave me his card to call if there’s any trouble after my return. The white officer came in & told me he’s taking me to her at her job. There was no where else to run. The black officer said his goodbye to me.
I went with the white officer to his police vehicle & got in the back again. I placed my hood back over my head. I feared for what would happen when I returned. I was wondering if I was being searched for or filed under a missing child report. It was a long drive. The white officer never spoke to me however. He looked as though he was upset to have to drive all the way out there just to drop me off. A black kid that ran away if that. I would’ve been more comfortable with the black officer driving me because we would’ve talked more on the way & maybe I would’ve felt a bit better.
The closer we got, the more emptiness I felt in me. I couldn’t find anywhere else to go. I failed. And now I’m returning to face what I was running away from. When the officer pulled up to her job, I saw both my mother & father standing by my father’s car. I was surprised to see my father there. That meant my mother must’ve called him & alerted others in the family that I ran away.
The officer parked & got out first walking to my mother & father who met up with him. I slowly got out as he spoke to them. They looked at me, I looked at them, & then kept looking down. I felt no emotion. I ran away & it did nothing but bring me right back. I didn’t feel fear for what would happen, I didn’t cry, I wasn’t angry, I felt absolutely nothing. I looked up again & looked at them & the officer.
The officer looked at me & said “He’s all yours…..”