Broken Promises

Remember when we said we would always stand together side by side? That we would never let our grip on each other let loose no matter what? That we would push through all types of hell that would break loose against us?

Remember when we made those promises of creating a future for us? That our love for each other would forever shine even through the darkest times? That we would stay truthful & forgive each other for our mistakes?

Remember when we said we’d always value each other for not whats on the outside but for our true inner selves? That we’d both understand our flaws & faults & help each other improve & grow upon them?

Remember when we said we’d never forget our presence in each other’s lives should we ever be forced away. That we’d try our absolute best to fight against all odds until the end of our days? It was too soon to say til death do us part but….the idea of it was wonderful to us.

So many touching words we’ve exchanged with each other.

But the thing is….were those words only just sayings?

Did they not hold any value? Any meaning?

You are no longer here. With you not here, all those words are just now fragments to the broken mirror that was a reflection of us. Why did they have to become fragments?

We carried a dream like Dr. King. We had a vision. A journey. We believed we were destined to prevail throughout the way.

We understood that no human being is perfect. We understood that we were still developing inside. We understood that there would be all kinds of trials & tribulations for each of us to determine if we could truly make it. We understood the game. And we both agreed to play to win.

But after progressing through so many levels, winning so many fights & learning new strategies to help us win better, you put the controller down & disappeared. Before we could even reach that final level & truly become victors in this game.

All of what was said from the moment we first met, from the moment we decided to grab the controllers, from the times we’ve shared new ways to win, all just now….disappears as well?

They always say we’d find another to continue the game with as life is full of other chances, but why must that be the case with us if those promises were meant to keep our bond endured through time? Why must we let those promises go to waste?

How could we allow ourselves to give up on each other? How could we allow ourselves to slip through our fingers?

We had our trust in each other.

We had our comfort with each other.

And we had our….love. Our love for each other.

All of which made our bond stronger & healthier. All of which kept those promises unbroken.

But each of those slowly started crumbling I see. As the game progressed & the levels grew more difficult for each other, it affected all three of them.

Things such as making the wrong moves, going ahead without having patience, not listening to each others words to avoid mistakes that were avoidable. Withholding the truth when we should never. I can see now that the game brought out different sides of us. Sides that we thought we would never see.

But it was faith that kept the dream alive. Faith that gave us the energy to keep progressing further on. Faith in each other.

With no faith, all of what kept us together breaks. Was there no way to bring that back? To prevent anything from shattering between us.

No such luck. No luck at all.

When it comes to making promises, they only seem to go but so far. Maybe being caught up in the moment made it easy for them to be made. Having your mind set in a fantasized world made those promises bloom like a flower. Seemed like the right things to say. Until that thing called reality comes to play & has you thinking those words should have never been spoken.

But the way we spoke them, the demeanor we represented towards them, the emotions we expressed, all made those promises seem more than just words. And they were. We both knew it. None of us denied the feelings. We embraced them for each other. We made sure we knew how we felt about them & each other.

But eventually, time will tell whats true & whats false. Time reveals everything.

It revealed that those promises would soon be broken. And so it was right.

We could’ve proven that was not the case. We could have made time reveal that we indeed would still hold each other & those promises dearly.

I guess….only I saw that.

You had a viewpoint that would be incompatible to mine.

But I…thought we were on the same page. I thought we always were. But deep inside we never were fully. Never truly.

Maybe I should have accepted the fact that an imperfect person like me would not be a true match for a perfect person like you. I tried to be perfect, flawless, but I was not worthy. A failure I am for failing you.

Why is it that I still hold onto these broken fragments while you have already decided to leave them where they laid. Why must I be the one trying to revive those dead promises when you were the one that killed them?

Why must I have to make these same promises with another soul? Why not keep them alive with you? Restarting the whole process all over again take so much time. The feeling won’t ever be the same when its not you. I’ll be hurting someone else while being hurt over you.

I..I just want you to remember all that we’ve said & done. Just remember I am still here. Still thinking, still dreaming, still missing, still loving you. Even after coming to realize that those promises may remain broken forever.

Or will they? Who knows. I don’t think I’ll ever know. I don’t know how you feel inside. I’ll probably never know. I shouldn’t be trying to figure it out. But its hard to ignore the desire to. Just to know if you see those to be forever broken.

– Broken Promises

 

 

 

 

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4 Comments

  1. It’s what I’m going through now! Does one upset in our relationship crash the whole cart?!? Can he really love me when he has pulled so far back? Together but not together. This is so frustrating!

    Liked by 1 person

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