Sellout

My parents had me when they were truly ready.

They were hardworking, classy, wealthy, & healthy.

Whatever needed to be done, they succeeded.

They provided me with everything I needed.

They gave me all of what a kid could dream.

My life was as smooth as it would seem.

I dressed clean, classy, my grades were always at the top, & I was making the family proud.

But unbeknown-st to me, I was to disappoint another crowd. 

A crowd of my own kind. Looking amongst me as if I was some unidentified creature. Questioning me on why I dress so differently from their casual selves. Mocking the way I use proper English rather than the slang coming from their mouthes. They looked upon me in disgust. They made fun of my status of being a “rich boy”.

But I alone was not rich. It was my parents. They worked as hard as they could to be able to provide for me as best as they could. As any parent should. So why am I being looked upon this way? We have done no wrong to deserve it.

A “sellout” I was always called. Because I did not come from the ghettos or the projects. Because I had a house full of riches & was living the dream life they wish they could. It wasn’t my fault. Hard work pays off in the end. My parents made sure of it, & I was always proud to have them as mine. But it was as if they weren’t despite knowing how good they were doing. Wishing it was them living my life & not me as if I don’t deserve them. How dare they….

But I realize, those were people that were less fortunate than I was. They didn’t have even half as much as I was given. Though, I never bragged about it. I did what I was suppose to do. I was still running the same laps they were regardless of the money that was behind me. I was still a human being just like them. But not so “human” to them because of my lack of slang, lack of getting into trouble, & lack of embracing a ghetto side because of my color.

They would almost make my days hell every time they saw me. They would try their hardest to break me & have me fall down their level because they don’t ever want to see someone over top them feeling as though they deserve to be at the top without working to it. It would always hurt me inside for people to think of me this way when I have done nothing wrong. My parents always told me to ignore them, but they weren’t in my shoes to understand. How stupid was I to think they wouldn’t.

They too had to go through it all to even get to this status. They started off with nothing & thought they would be nothing just as everyone around them were to be. But they had a dream. They saw a way. They went for it. And they became greater than they ever would’ve thought. But they never forgot their roots. They never could forget the pain they endured while putting all their effort into succeeding. I was a mere child complaining of struggling just because of a few words said. They were oh so disappointed in me for allowing it to crack my will even the slightest.

And thats when I knew. I shouldn’t let their words make me lost track on what I want to become. I’d be a fool to stoop down to their level just to “fit in”. I should be accepted for who I am & if not, they are irrelevant to my success. Sticks & stones was what my parents lived by. It wasn’t impossible to do the same. It would have been nice to be appreciated for who I am. This is the type of mindset my people need. But they just won’t understand until its too late for them.

There were those that would always give me credit for the effort I put in as well as the demeanor I represent. Thats how I knew there would be people like me out there. They would encourage me to keep doing exactly what I’m doing & it would all pay off in the future. Just like it did for my parents.

But I am no different from anyone else. I am still human, still apart of the cycle of life just as any of us. I cannot believe one, let alone my own people, would think of me to be lesser than the unfortunate average. Rather than applaud someone for not having to deal with the struggle because of good choices made, they would want to criticize & show hate towards their way of life.

When will we stop doing this to ourselves?

– Sellout

 

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. A must read! Brave, inspiring and honest. I like this kind of writing, the emotions are sincere and there’s too much learning and ideas to perpend. Nice work! I hope you could also try to follow my blog, if you don’t mind. Cheers! 😊

    Like

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