Trauma

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why did you hurt her?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You are far from delusional on this matter. You know what this is about.”

“I…I never intended to hurt her. To hurt anyone…”

“Are you sure about that?”

“I am not an evil person. I would never deliberately try to sabotage the people I love.”

“And you truly stand by that?”

“I do & I always will until the death of me.”

“Then explain why she is no longer by your side right now.”

“I made some mistakes. I am far from a perfect man, surely you can understand tha-”

“You pull the “I’m not a perfect man” excuse every time you make these mistakes. Yet you claim yourself to be such a righteous & good hearted man but still are prone to making mistakes a true good hearted man would know not to make.”

“I did not mean to make those mistakes!”

“You saw from the beginning that she was hurting from the mistakes, you promised to not make anymore. Or was the promise only said to have her keep her cries quiet?”

“She knows I never meant to hurt her in any way. She knows I am not perfect. She forgave me for the things I’ve done.”

“But yet she trusted that you would not continuously hurt her. She gave you a plentiful amount of chances so you could truly prove yourself to her. And you failed. In what way do you think she could ever look at you the same as she did the moment she fell in love with you?”

“I…I..I don’t know.”

“You are right. You will never know. You don’t know why you kept on hurting her but you knew what you were doing that did so. And now you will never know if she will ever return after all you’ve done. You brought this on yourself.”

“I didn’t deserve her in the first place. I knew I was bound to fail, I didn’t want to believe I would. She always had faith in me. She always saw the good in me. I did so much more good than I did bad.”

“Yet your wrongs could never be overlooked. They remain memorable. They are the scars on her heart that will never clear up. They remind her that before you appeared, her heart was once beautifully clean.” 

“But how can I show her just how sorry I truly am? How can I prove to her that I am worthy to be by her side? How can I redeem myself to her?”

“You show it by moving on & becoming the righteous person you claimed yourself to be.”

“But all I want is her. I just want her to see that I’m trying. I want her to truly forgive me & give me another chance…”

“Then you will continue to suffer….”

“Maybe I deserve to suffer….”

 

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