We all have a different reaction to pain.

Some of us react externally, such as jump in shock, scream, cry, or become enraged.

Some of us react, but rather internally than externally. Such as concealing the pain deep within the mind, making it appear as though they feel nothing on the outside but truly suffer inside.

Instead, the outside reaction might just be a smile. Or even nothing at all. Almost appearing as though they are immune to the pain inflicted upon them.

Maybe they want nobody to see them in pain. They wouldn’t want people to show any care for them so they can endure their suffering alone. As if nobody would be able to heal them.

Or perhaps they think people would view them as weak. A pathetic human that could never stand a chance through life. They want to eliminate the possibility of being embarrassed by hiding their pain from the world & walk the roads tall & strong.

But for how long can you endure the inner suffering?

Your mental barriers are at a constant war with what you bury inside attempting to conceal the pain you hide. Yet, even mental barriers have a set capacity to how much they can withstand. When something exceeds it, they begin to crack. And when excessive force is constantly overwhelming it’s capacity, then it breaks down leaving your mentality at its most vulnerable even to the slightest bit of pain.

Yet, nobody on the outside would be aware of the battles within. Nobody would be able to see the crumbling spirit within. Because on the outside, you display a happy soul. A soul that is mighty & indomitable. A soul that many would admire for being so strong.

But only you know that it is all a fake.

With your mental barriers broken, all it takes is for your mentality to be compromised by the pain you kept hidden, & you may reveal on the outside just how much damage there is on the inside. Such as lashing out at whatever is in your presence, bursting out in a sudden fiery rage with the intent to cause havoc, releasing a cry so powerful it could be heard from miles away, or injuring your own self in an attempt to cease the pain.

Even something done on the outside can trigger the pain within. And when that become possible, how can you even defend your own self?

It is not wise to keep whatever pain you face bundled inside. One can only hold but so much. You are only putting yourself in a constant danger of a chaotic eruption. It could very well hurt those around you, & even yourself.

We all face pain. It is inevitable as a human. We all face the same battles, yet we each may discover different solutions. Our solutions are our answer to resolving that pain. But do those solutions truly help you?

Just because you believe it to be the answer, doesn’t make it the right answer. Keeping your emotions bottled up repeatedly would later make it the wrong answer. Inflicting pain upon yourself in an attempt to cease the pain already there would destroy you before you even realize it to be the wrong answer. And placing a mask with a smiley face across your own face to show the world that you are falsely happy would be the wrong answer for as nobody would ever think that you are in need of help. Nobody can read your mind to hear your cry from the inside.

But why should you feel as though nobody should see you suffering? Is it pride? Is it shame? You believe nobody will ever understand the pain you go through?

There will always be someone that will understand it all. You may never know until you open yourself to release the pain in a gentle manner rather furious. If it is help you truly want, you have to first reveal that you are in need of help. And then set out to find the help best for you.

Some people resort to the use of drugs to cope with their pain. A temporary depressant to the inner & outer shell to where they may feel no pain at all.

But they aren’t permanent. Meaning regardless of how much of something you may take, as soon as the effect wear off, all the pain resumes its course.

A battle within one’s self is a battle only that one can either be victorious or defeated. Whatever they choose to allow to assist them in battle can very well contribute to either their victory or defeat.

Knowing what will contribute to either, may remain a mystery until time reveals its true motive.

All of this is not to be trifled with.












  1. This was beautifully written. I have a blog page of myself of various struggles I have coped through. If you’d like to check them out, I am sure they would help you feel less alone. Pain is a bitch. But we all get through it in our own unique ways.


    1. Seeing how I am coming from Instagram you can view my blog page here but it is: Alexa’s personal blog!


  2. Wonderfully written with such boldness, beauty and transparency. I totally agree that it would be wrong for anyone to attempt to bottle up the hurt, emotion, etc. The undue pressure it will cause. Then on the other hand to pretend it doesn’t exist would be like putting a bandage on a bleeding wound without treatment. You have to let it out if you don’t want an explosive situation. It best to talk through it writing, drawing is therapeutic too, however maybe seeking some professional help in the matter would be best.
    InHisCare 😊🙏💜

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tricky subject matter. I agree with all the points you raised. Nothing good comes from holding it all in. All it does is fester negativity till it eventually erupts.

    The reason I say it may be tricky for some is circumstance. I know I am in the same bracket with those who like to hold it in, but I do channel my emotions in my writing, even succinctly. I don’t necessarily share my pain with others because I don’t like to project my pain onto other. The only exception is when someone is ready and willing to hear. Otherwise I don’t bring it up, I bear responsibility for my own pain and deal with the way I know how.

    However, I am always open to help; provided its someone willing to actually listen and not sate their curiosity. Its that nuanced difference that keeps me, among others a little guarded.

    Thank you for sharing, stunning post 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on My Inner MishMash and commented:
    This is a very powerful post, to which I can hugely relate as someone constantly trying to unlarn bottling up emotions and living with consequences of doing so all the time for years. If you struggle with similar issues, I highly recommend you reading this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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