Love is hard when you are young.
It always is, always has, & always will be.
We’re so full of ourselves when we’re young. Thinking we know it all. Thinking we have everything all planned out. Thinking that it should all come easy because we want it to. And we believe that it should come easy because we deserve it.
You would think that you know exactly what you want, only to find yourself knowing nothing of what you need.
If that makes sense.
Or you knowing what you want, & expecting it to all come from the person that you want. But later realizing what you want is not what you need.
Everyone is entitled to live how they want to live. To be whatever they want to be. And if they are nothing like what you want, should they change for you?
They say thats how you know you’re what they want. If they are willing to adapt & adjust to be what you wanted, then there can indeed be love between the two.
But for you, it’s because they are what you wanted. They are not themselves, they are not in their natural state. They’ve become something different for your benefits. And sometimes, its just not their cup of tea to do so.
Would it be wrong for them to stay as who they are? Even if it is opposite from what you wanted? All the qualities that you want would override being able to want them for who they are?
Sure if they are blatantly a screwed up person, change would be a great thing, but acceptance is whats important on both ends. Both have to have acceptance of who they are, & have acceptance for change should it properly fit them & their desires.
I can sit here & tell myself that I am ready for a serious relationship just off the strength of believing that I am ready, & then the moment comes & I’m like….
“Maybe I wasn’t ready.”
No really, I tell myself that all the time. All because of some drama, arguments, trust issues, etc. I know this stuff naturally comes with a relationship, but damn when its nearly constant, how does one bare to sit & continue off the strength of believing we can make it through anything?
Especially when the person you want is opposite from what you wanted/what you’re used to. There’s that old saying “opposites attract”, like two negatives coming together to form a positive.
And while it does indeed work, it may seem impossible at first. Trying to settle & dispute differences can take an immense amount of time & energy. That is, if you truly believe them to actually be worth it.
But you’re young, why spend so much time trying to figure out what it is that you want when you have so much time to explore & experience what life offers? Why be so pressed to find a lifetime partner so soon as if they won’t naturally come in time? What is the rush?
Maybe if you don’t find that person now, you won’t find them at all later. You see those love stories on how people met at such a young age & were able to live a life together. Married with children & all that good stuff.
Would be a dream come true to have that huh?
Yet, the nightmare can come true in reality. Because who would want to be 70 years old alone?
You may not want that, but that doesn’t mean it cannot happen. You see happy couples & wish to have what they have, but perhaps its not your time to have that. Maybe there is already a reason why its not & you refuse to see why.
Maybe what you want & who you want it from are the cause of why that dream isn’t coming true. Maybe you personally aren’t even ready to take on that dream. After all, you are still young. So why would you ever think you’re 100% ready for something when you aren’t even fully developed?
Love is a roller coaster. Love has its bittersweet moments. Love will have you going out of your way & going crazy. Love can bring life & happiness. Love can bring death & despair. Like a double-edged sword, it can go either way. Good or bad.
But you knew this already I presume?
So how could you think your young self could ever be ready for that?
There’s just no way you could be. No matter how mature or prepared you think you are.
If you don’t love yourself first, how could you ever properly love someone else?
You’ll fall in love with someone you think deserves it. And thats the false start. You “think” they do. Therefore, you question whether or not they do deserve it because they do not give you the indications that they do. But you still believe they just might & just might eventually show that they do.
But they should know how they should be acting to show they deserve every ounce of love you give right?
Maybe they won’t ever know how to. And that is why you’ll continue to be let down. You could know how to give it but they may not know how to accept it. Could refuse it. Or could just deny it from only you.
None of us are ready for love until we accept that we aren’t so we can take the steps to be ready.
That is, if we weren’t so arrogant….