Only You

Its only you.

Who else would it be if not you?

I can’t avoid you.

I can’t ignore you.

I can’t deny you.

And I can’t say that I’m absolutely fine without you.

Because I want you.

I need you.

Because nobody else can match up to you.

I would not allow myself to let someone else enter my heart the same way you have. Because that would be them taking your spot. A spot that only you deserve to have.

And I’m quite sure that you know it by now.

Yet, does it matter to you?

Am I feeling the way that I should feel too early?

I cannot sit & act as though nothing matters to me. Or that I could care less what happens or who I am to set eyes on. Because I haven’t felt this way about someone in so long, wouldn’t it be wrong to defy my true feelings to protect myself from pain?

I don’t believe you ever carry intentions to hurt anyone. Just as I. But do the feelings of others matter to you?

I’m sure they do.

But what comes to mind when it comes to mine? Does anything come to mind if that?

Isn’t this what you’ve wanted? Someone that carries so much love & care for you & is willing to show it should you return the favor?

I know there are so many differences between us. So many things that we can never come to an understanding. But isn’t that what makes a greater relationship? The whole “opposites attract” belief.

Of course at first it never seems like its possible. Yet, have we fully given up on each other yet? Can you actually say that you do not want anything with me ever because of our differences?

If so, I see now that we were wasting time.

But if not, then clearly the time we have spent was never a waste. More so just lessons. A learning experiences about our differences am I right? Because despite me struggling to understand our differences & how we could connect as one, I can never say out my mouth that I want nothing with you at all ever in life. The desire remains like its permanent. No matter how many years pass or how distant we become it will still be there should you wish the same.

I thought I wouldn’t get a chance to feel this way about someone ever again. I punished my own self for screwing up my opportunities for true love. It felt necessary to do for as I would not allow myself to hurt anyone ever again by removing myself from people. Locking myself in that mental prison it was called.

But somehow, I believe that only you could have broken me out of it. No one else. I don’t believe no one else could. After all, no one did ever show their face to me despite me remaining distant from the world. You of all people came back & it still feels too good to be true in all honesty that your presence brought back some of the happiness I lost.

It was hard for me to open up, I was quick to turn the other way to avoid any problems & avoid hurting anyone. Yet, in doing that I was hurting you. Being selfish & trying to protect my own self at times that weren’t even necessary. Because I needed not to be that way to you. I had nothing to worry about. You knew how you felt about me, & you knew you would never allow yourself to hurt me in anyway. I had to trust you but didn’t trust my own self.

But overtime, I understood. I really don’t have anything to worry about. Because its you. Its the woman I love. The woman I only want. I know that all you’ve ever wanted was to be the only one & have absolutely no worry about anything else. And you know that with me, theres a guarantee that you are safe.

Because its only you. And if its only you, then everything will be alright. It will always be only you. I do not want to fail again. Not when I set you as the only one I truly want in my life.

Nobody else….only you….

 

become_a_patron_button@2x

Introducing the New Beginnings patreon page! Click the image to visit & become a Patron by contributing only $1 or however much you choose!Ā 

6 Comments

  1. Reading it, I felt as though a fragment of my mind has been taken and put to words that I could ever find….. So relatable and beautifully penned. Clear, raw, direct…. I love it

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.